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Saturday, March 31, 2007
this post is in honour of someone's birthday. and it shall be short and sweet.
the someone goes by the name of brandon.
blessed 17th birthday brandon!
(i still think it's cool that you're birthday is like 1 day after mine =D)
it's interesting how we got to know each other.
and we've got our fair share of arguments and all.
but you've showed me time and again that "best friends" do exist and not part of some deluded people's imagination.
and the reason why our friendship has become stronger despite our disagreements is that youve been giving in and youre always the one who says sorry first. (and as peiling is now 15, i'll try to change that)
and i'd really like to thank you for every single little thing. really, thanks brandon.
i know ive not been how a best friend should be, but whatever it is you've always got a friend in me. and dont you ever forget that.
and yeah i was thinking a couple of weeks ago: what if one day we start drifting apart for some reason? and then i thought to myself and realised that it doesnt matter, because from the time we became friends, i knew that you're a friend for keeps. so even if one fine day we wont use the term "best friend" to describe the other, we'll still be friends and brothers and sisters in Christ no matter what.
take care dude.
and as a new year starts for you, may you continue to know the Lord better each day and experience His grace and mercy ever single day.
you're not alone no matter what.
dance.
i hope you dance- lee ann womack
i hope you never lose your sense of wonder
you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
may you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
whenever one door closes i hope one more opens
promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
i hope you dance
i hope you dance
i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
never settle for the path of least resistance
living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
loving might be a mistake but it's worth making
dont let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
when you come close to selling out reconsider
give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
i hope you dance (time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
i hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)
simplicity.
*****
Friday, March 30, 2007
hello everyone who comes across this post. my name is brandon and im posting on behalf of THE group of people present at peiling's house. since we've done all necessary preparations and waiting for her to arrive so we can surprise her (though she hasnt arrived home yet), i shall add a birthday post to her stagnant blog. here we go:
dear peiling,
thank you for putting a smile on our faces whenever we're feeling in the dumps.
thank you for never failing to keep your promise to "be there when we need you".
thank you for amusing us unknowingly.
thank you for bringing joy to our lives.
thank you for your care and concern.
all in all, thank you for being a blessing to us throughout the years we've known you.
here's wishing you a blessed 15th birthday!
all of us love you- dont you ever forget that.
---
what comes after this shall be from only me.
hey girl, you know im not adept at expressing myself through written words (which explains why i only did an (ugly) drawing instead of writing you a letter- a picture speaks a thousand words =p). but since ive quite a lot of time at hand (why arent you back yet?) i'll attempt to pen everything (or rather as much as possible) down (since typing will require less time as compared to writing).
wow to think that we started off disliking and fighting with each other. but after having the opportunity to truly know each other 4 years ago, we can laugh over our past childishness and immature acts. and i truly thank God for giving me you as a best friend.
thank you for always being there when i needed someone.
thank you for sticking with me during difficult times.
thank you for your calls/ smses/ emails/ letters/ drawings.
thank you for reminding me of Him being with me always when i stumble and start to doubt.
thank you for watching sunrises with me.
thank you for taking walks with me by the sea.
thank you for lying on the ground and watching stars with me.
thank you for doing ridiculous and crazy stuff with me.
thank you for listening to all that i had to say.
thank you for proving to me that you are someone i can trust and rely on.
thank you for believing in me and seeing the best in me.
thank you for trusting me and telling me (close to) everything.
as much as i would like to always have you as a best friend, you and i have no control over the future and perhaps years from now we would have lost contact/ drifted away for everything changes. but i just wanted to thank you for everything (the list above is obviously not exhaustive). you dont know how much you've impacted my life. our friendship is more than words.
i'll end off with a song (in case my drawing's too ugly, the drawing was based on this song):
you with the sad eyes
dont be discouraged
i realise it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you feel so small
but i see your true colors
shining through
i see you true colors
and that's why i love you
so dont be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful like a rainbow
show me a smile then
dont be unhappy
cant remember when i last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and youve taken all you can bear
you call me up because you know i'll be there
brandon.
simplicity.
*****
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
march camp 2007.
i must say it was better than expected. like on sunday night waiian and i were talking about how we were didnt feel like going for camp, and i was moping about me being separated from the levites. and at the start on monday ruoting and i were still being upset about it, rather stupid of us but ah well. but i guess in the end the levites who were placed in different groups realised the reason why they were placed there and the purpose. like for me im glad i was placed in jan's squad because on the first day zhener didnt come and there were games/ group time/ qt, and jan was the only senior (since although loongs a sec3, she's a private). okay i shall be ego, but i think it would have been more difficult for jan to get everything going with the new people if i wasnt there, since they were/ some still are quiet. like she could discuss stuff with me and on the first day and during amazing race and the cleaning up of dorms/ clearing the table, i was able to support her and all. so even though i believe i would have enjoyed camp even more if i was with the levites, and most likely the sec1s dont know miao ruoting yikai and me and we didnt get to bond with the sec2s-4s during camp, but at least i know i did help to some extent and there's always the rest of the this year to get to know the sec1s better.
i think this year instead of getting to know the sec1s better (other than those in my group), i got to know batch08 and 07 more (and some batch06ers came back! like hil (whom i didnt really get to talk to much, other than that short walk from the quarry, but i was being incoherent so that doesnt count rawr)!. which is good in a way, because then you realise how much you love your seniors and your batch. ah june camp is in a horrid mess. how do i take on the role of camp commandant for youth camp and lead the camp comm/ people older than me if im having trouble sorting things out with people the same age as me. but i believe it'll work out in the end and despite all the difference in attitudes/ opinions we'll pull it off and make june camp something that our batch can be proud of hoho. batch08 is cool.
i was being emo when i led worship. like just before worship i just felt stressed and all that rubbish, for what reason i dont know since we had worship pract on sunday after enrolment at mich's church (thank you elissa hannah and waiian! and sorry to elissa for making you go all the way to pasir ris but it's not my fault that there were people coming to my house and there was no available place in church ):) so i started emoing before worship, and during worship when i spoke i was telling myself that i was a complete failure if i started crying in front of everyone. but i decided not to care after that and so became a failure. crying during the first part of worship was because i was emo, but the later part was because i thought worship was just so horrible. like i took the risk of putting in songs that we've never sung in gb before, and i was sick so i could not sing and sang horribly. and ah but it's all history, doesnt matter whether it was good or not and even though i maintain that it was bad and i was a horrid worship leader since i was so emo, i shall just believe that if it's God's will, the message did hit some people. but thanks alicia elissa hannah jan miao mich ruoting shihui and yunxi (alphabetical order!) and everyone else.
i thought the speaker was good. he was interactive and engaging and the message was put forth very clearly, supported by biblical references and i believe both christians and non-christians had something to take away from the devotions (and he was smart enough to give us time to copy the stuff on the powerpoint down so that we wont miss out on what he's saying). ive got quite a lot of thoughts sparked off by the messages but i'll leave them still another time.
conclusion: camp was good. =D
----
i still dont know what to do about the camp commandant thing rawr. though technically since the deadlines like long gone, i have "agreed" to it. but ah it's stressful and ive no idea how im going to take charge of everything. it'll be totally different from being in the camp comm/ acting-vice camp commandant. i have veto power, and although having power should make me feel good, it's scary. and there's the whole pressure to make camp a success since the past few camps have been awesome. and i dont want to disappoint people since they have the faith and trust in me that despite me being merely 15 years old, im able to do what im supposed to do well. and if camp fails, i dont want others to be criticised for taking such a huge risk of putting a 15 year old in charge of camp. it'll be a good experience and hopefully it'll help me see God's sovereignty, and a good way to maybe end off my involvement. praying but havnt gotten a clear answer yet ah.
---
i hate being sick. once im down, it's terrible. mummy was saying that i should have known that i was falling sick and take care of myself etc etc etc. i was telling her that i didnt know but now come to think of it actually i think i knew from like a weeks ago that i was falling sick but i took no notice of it hoho. now peiling has a fever. rawr i should be sleeping now and not go for drill comp pract tomorrow but peiling is strong, she will get well soon! PEILING IS STRONNGGGG.
---
i shall end off every post (or as many posts as possible) with some thanksgiving. either for a person/ event/ anything i feel like giving thanks for. and for this post, the lucky person is...
elissa low jia min! i still have no clue how i got to know elissa well, since i didnt know about her existence in like the start to mid of sec1, and im not in her squad and all. it must have been last year's march camp and shirim! and if you told me like in sec1 that she would be one of the people im closest to in gb, i would have given you the o.O and ?! what makes you think so look. but over the time ive known her, ive discovered that elissa is sweet. quite surprising actually, like although she looks like a tomboy and the "go away" face when she doesnt smile, she's very sweet =D and when im talking to her when im ): some random/ stupid thing she says will make me laugh. and im glad she's the june camp i/c too, because it's great having her with me. and peiling feels happy when she's with elissa! elissa's a great twin/ friend/ band major!
therefore, thank you God for blessing me with elissa (:
(elissa if you see this, please feel very honoured)
simplicity.
*****
Friday, March 09, 2007
ahh it's 25 minutes to midnight. ive typed out the email to not accept the post of camp commandant and ive been staring at it wondering whether i should send it or not to whom it concerns. everytime i decide to click on the send button, i end up closing the window.
uncle andrew said that he would give me until 9 march midnight to pray about it and make a decision. rawr.
[edit] kor is so sweet. he just sent me an sms (from india) and said "it should be about 1130 in singapore. now that your hols have started try to sleep early yeah? (i believe you'll make a great camp commandant, give it a shot!)" the email's still in my drafts folder waiting to be sent out.[/edit]
simplicity.
*****
Thursday, March 08, 2007
this week has been okay so far. it must be me going down to church last saturday and seeing everyone again. and being very amused by the comments from many people. dear samantha see, i present to you my rebuttal. i am NOT "cute and silly" like ruixi, i am smart and intelligent and scary do not insult me please. jon is not "plain insane", he's comical but man he's got brains. brandon does not "look like he doesnt give a damn about anything but super duper nice to people he cares for". well actually yeah he does sort of fit the description but... it's just different la! so there sam sticks tongue out.
im fairly surprised and rather pleased with my attitude towards exams so far. 1. dont stress over the paper beforehand 2. dont worry abour results after the paper is over 3. know your mistakes/ areas to improve when you get back your paper. it's the whole 'marks arent everything' thing. but yeah, im pleased with myself because i think i have struck a balance between the i dont care and the oh my goodness me how could i have been so careless attitude. so yay for that.
kor just left for the airport. daddy and mummy's driving him there and he's going for some india trip rawr. he'll be back next saturday morning what a long time. but i guess ive got to get used to him being away for long periods of time since he'll be in ns next year anyway.
simplicity.
*****
Friday, March 02, 2007
peiling's feeling emo now so please pardon her.
ive not been as optimistic as i usually am, ive been pesimist rawr. i know there's like 12691894895 things i can be thankful for, for something as simple as being able to live for 365x14 + ... days. being thankful is getting increasingly difficult, and so is keeping the love joy and peace in my heart.
"ive got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart
down in my heart down in my heart
ive got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.
ive got the love of Jesus...
ive got the peace the passes understanding..."
"let the little children come to me and do not hinder them for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". man i love children's songs. because despite the simply and easy-to-understand lyrics, the meaning behind them is really great, and as i grow older i realise that it takes a lot of conviction to sing those songs. it's easy to sing/ say, but to do it is 12693562894 times harder. but that's just part of the process right, and i can only keep working it towards it. but sometimes when you try and try and things dont change, it's human nature to want to give up isnt it? but it's oh-so-exhausting and all you want is a break. but ahh oh well nevermind. i havnt been doing my qt, i havnt been reading my bible, wtc.
i just got uncle andrew's email and i was all o.O and still o.O over it. "Pei Ling will be the camp commandant and will be leading the camp committee as they plan for the youth camp this year." i thought we were just kidding when we had the discussion/ meeting. but ahhh if it was a meeting, of course it'll be serious right? noo peiling is unprepared and ah i dont know, scary scary scary! okay i shall call uncle andrew after i get off the comp. going down to church in the afternoon tomorrow, im crashing their band pract before going for bcy since people have been telling me to go down and say hello.
i havnt spoken/ smsed/ emailed brandon since monday. he called me yesterday but i rejected his call, dont ask me why. i guess we're both stressed and tired and we have our own set of things to deal with, and i think we need more time to cool off, lest our conversation ends up like the last one. and this time i should be apologising first because i was mainly to blame rawr. but yo dude, learn to start caring for yourself okay.
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
